Two burglars come down a chimney

Author: Salvador Litvak –Accidental Talmudist

A young man knocks on the door of a great Talmudic scholar.

"Rabbi, I wish to study Talmud."

“Do you know Aramaic?”

“No."

“Hebrew?”

“No."

“Have you ever studied Torah?”

“No, Rabbi, but I graduated from Harvard summa cum laude in philosophy, and received a PhD from Yale. I'd like to round out my education with a bit of Talmud.”

“I doubt that you are ready for Talmud. It is the broadest and deepest of books. If you wish, however, I will examine you in logic, and if you pass the test I will teach you Talmud.”

"Good. I'm well versed in logic."

"First question. Two burglars come down a chimney. One emerges with a clean face, the other with a dirty face. Which one washes his face?”

”The burglar with the dirty face."

“Wrong. The one with the clean face. Examine the logic. The burglar with a dirty face looks at the one with a clean face and thinks his face is clean. The one with a clean face looks at the burglar with a dirty face and thinks his face is dirty. So the one with the clean face washes.”

“Very clever. Another question please.”

“Two burglars come down a chimney. One emerges with a clean face, the other with a dirty face. Which one washes his face?”

“We established that. The burglar with the clean face washes.”

“Wrong. Both wash. Examine the logic. The one with a dirty face thinks his face is clean. The one with a clean face thinks his face is dirty. So the burglar with a clean face washes. When the one with a dirty face sees him washing, however, he realizes his face must be dirty too. Thus both wash.”

“I didn’t think of that. Please ask me another.”

“Two burglars come down a chimney. One emerges with a clean face, the other with a dirty face. Which one washes his face?”

“Well, we know both wash.”

“Wrong. Neither washes. Examine the logic. The one with the dirty face thinks his face is clean. The one with the clean face thinks his face is dirty. But when clean-face sees that dirty-face doesn’t bother to wash, he also doesn’t bother. So neither washes. As you can see, you are not ready for Talmud.”

"Rabbi, please, give me one more test.”

“Two burglars come down a chimney. One emerges with a clean face, the other with a dirty face. Which one washes his face?”

“Neither!”

“Wrong. And perhaps now you will see why Harvard and Yale cannot prepare you for Talmud. Tell me, how is it possible that two men come down the same chimney, and one emerges with a clean face, while the other has a dirty face?"

"But you've just given me four contradictory answers to the same question! That's impossible!"

"No, my son, that's Talmud."

--------------------------
www.salvadorlitvak.com/accidental-talmudist

HAVE YOU READ YOUR BIBLE TODAY?

Two burglars come down a chimney

Author: Salvador Litvak –Accidental Talmudist

A young man knocks on the door of a great Talmudic scholar.

"Rabbi, I wish to study Talmud."

“Do you know Aramaic?”

“No."

“Hebrew?”

“No."

“Have you ever studied Torah?”

“No, Rabbi, but I graduated from Harvard summa cum laude in philosophy, and received a PhD from Yale. I'd like to round out my education with a bit of Talmud.”

“I doubt that you are ready for Talmud. It is the broadest and deepest of books. If you wish, however, I will examine you in logic, and if you pass the test I will teach you Talmud.”

"Good. I'm well versed in logic."

"First question. Two burglars come down a chimney. One emerges with a clean face, the other with a dirty face. Which one washes his face?”

”The burglar with the dirty face."

“Wrong. The one with the clean face. Examine the logic. The burglar with a dirty face looks at the one with a clean face and thinks his face is clean. The one with a clean face looks at the burglar with a dirty face and thinks his face is dirty. So the one with the clean face washes.”

“Very clever. Another question please.”

“Two burglars come down a chimney. One emerges with a clean face, the other with a dirty face. Which one washes his face?”

“We established that. The burglar with the clean face washes.”

“Wrong. Both wash. Examine the logic. The one with a dirty face thinks his face is clean. The one with a clean face thinks his face is dirty. So the burglar with a clean face washes. When the one with a dirty face sees him washing, however, he realizes his face must be dirty too. Thus both wash.”

“I didn’t think of that. Please ask me another.”

“Two burglars come down a chimney. One emerges with a clean face, the other with a dirty face. Which one washes his face?”

“Well, we know both wash.”

“Wrong. Neither washes. Examine the logic. The one with the dirty face thinks his face is clean. The one with the clean face thinks his face is dirty. But when clean-face sees that dirty-face doesn’t bother to wash, he also doesn’t bother. So neither washes. As you can see, you are not ready for Talmud.”

"Rabbi, please, give me one more test.”

“Two burglars come down a chimney. One emerges with a clean face, the other with a dirty face. Which one washes his face?”

“Neither!”

“Wrong. And perhaps now you will see why Harvard and Yale cannot prepare you for Talmud. Tell me, how is it possible that two men come down the same chimney, and one emerges with a clean face, while the other has a dirty face?"

"But you've just given me four contradictory answers to the same question! That's impossible!"

"No, my son, that's Talmud."

--------------------------
www.salvadorlitvak.com/accidental-talmudist

HAVE YOU READ YOUR BIBLE TODAY?

ORLANDO

June 12, 2016

LOVE THE SINNER........HATE THE SIN.

Pray for Peace, Pray for Healing.

HAVE YOU READ YOUR BIBLE TODAY ?

ORLANDO

June 12, 2016

LOVE THE SINNER........HATE THE SIN.

Pray for Peace, Pray for Healing.

HAVE YOU READ YOUR BIBLE TODAY ?

A Shepherd Secures Them

They shall feed and lie down, and none shall make them afraid. (Zephaniah 3:13)

I was so very taken by this Charles Spurgeon Devotion this morning, I just had to share it with you. We often fail to appreciate how very protected we truly are when the Shepherd is near. The truth is, the Shepherd is ALWAYS near, if you believe and have called His name.

“Yesterday we thought of the afflicted and poor people whom the Lord left to be a living seed in a dead world. The prophet says of such that they shall not work iniquity nor speak lies. So that while they had neither rank nor riches to guard them, they were also quite unable to use those weapons in which the wicked place so much reliance: they could neither defend themselves by sin nor by subtlety.

What then? Would they be destroyed? By no means! They should both feed and rest and be not merely free from danger but even quiet from fear of evil. Sheep are very feeble creatures, and wolves are terrible enemies; yet at this hour sheep are more numerous than wolves, and the cause of the sheep is always winning, while the cause of the wolves is always declining. One day flocks of sheep will cover the plains, and not a wolf will be left. The fact is that sheep have a Shepherd, and this gives them provender, protection, and peace. "None"—which means not one, whether in human or diabolical form—"shall make them afraid." Who shall terrify the Lord's flock when He is near? We lie down in green pastures, for Jesus Himself is food and rest to our souls.”.

HAVE YOU READ YOUR BIBLE TODAY?

A Shepherd Secures Them

They shall feed and lie down, and none shall make them afraid. (Zephaniah 3:13)

I was so very taken by this Charles Spurgeon Devotion this morning, I just had to share it with you. We often fail to appreciate how very protected we truly are when the Shepherd is near. The truth is, the Shepherd is ALWAYS near, if you believe and have called His name.

“Yesterday we thought of the afflicted and poor people whom the Lord left to be a living seed in a dead world. The prophet says of such that they shall not work iniquity nor speak lies. So that while they had neither rank nor riches to guard them, they were also quite unable to use those weapons in which the wicked place so much reliance: they could neither defend themselves by sin nor by subtlety.

What then? Would they be destroyed? By no means! They should both feed and rest and be not merely free from danger but even quiet from fear of evil. Sheep are very feeble creatures, and wolves are terrible enemies; yet at this hour sheep are more numerous than wolves, and the cause of the sheep is always winning, while the cause of the wolves is always declining. One day flocks of sheep will cover the plains, and not a wolf will be left. The fact is that sheep have a Shepherd, and this gives them provender, protection, and peace. "None"—which means not one, whether in human or diabolical form—"shall make them afraid." Who shall terrify the Lord's flock when He is near? We lie down in green pastures, for Jesus Himself is food and rest to our souls.”.

HAVE YOU READ YOUR BIBLE TODAY?

Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice!

(Php 4:4)

(Php 4:6) Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.

(1Co 13:4) Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant,

(1Co 13:5) does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered,

(1Co 13:6) does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth;

(1Co 13:7) bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

(1Co 13:8) Love never fails;.............

(Php 4:8) Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things.

AMEN

HAVE YOU READ YOUR BIBLE TODAY?

Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice!

(Php 4:4)

(Php 4:6) Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.

(1Co 13:4) Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant,

(1Co 13:5) does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered,

(1Co 13:6) does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth;

(1Co 13:7) bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

(1Co 13:8) Love never fails;.............

(Php 4:8) Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things.

AMEN

HAVE YOU READ YOUR BIBLE TODAY?